You are more beautiful than you think.

Watch the video below.  The lesson is beautiful. 

I must admit that I have done this most of my life.  At times even now, despite how many people tell me to the contrary, I feel unattractive and unworthy of love.  When I have looked back on pictures of myself at times in my life when I felt the most unattractive, the most unloved or the most alone, I think, "How could I have possibly have felt that way.  I was such an attractive kid/teen/young man. I wasn’t as fat as I thought I was. I was more athletic than I could see at the time. I was such a cute kid. Etc."  When I look in the mirror now and don’t like the man I see, I have to remind myself of these times I have reflected on my past self and say, “You are more beautiful than you think.”

When I was 12 years of age I felt so bad about my body, the shape I was in and how much I had been made fun of/abused that I became anorexic and bulimic in response to how I felt about myself.  For almost two years, I continued to rob my body of vital nourishment and nutrients because I thought I would loose weight as a result, and then the emotional pain would stop.  The only problem is that, because my pain came mainly from my perception of myself and the world, once I lost the weight and more, my perception didn’t change.  I viewed even skin on my midsection, as I slouched, as unwanted fat.  Fat equaled pain in my mind so I kept purging out of fear.  This continued for two years until I my ribs protruded well beyond my stomach and was almost hospitalized from malnourishment. 

Your perceptions of yourself have always affected your actions and how you have interacted with the outside world.  Change your thoughts and you will eventually change your destiny.  This video is a beautiful illustration of how people see themselves as opposed to how they really are.  Change your thoughts about yourself and you will change your life.  I love and care about you my friend.  Please know that you ARE more beautiful than you think.

This video is titled "Dove Real Beauty Sketches"

Please understand, I am not saying that physical beauty is the most important thing, nor does it make up who we are on a soul level.  I do believe that "Real" beauty is comprised of so much more than physical attractiveness, but sometimes to be able to see what is really important you need to look past the obstacle of your perception of the lack of the physical, which clouds your vision. 

An example: when people say that money doesn't buy you happiness they are correct. Much in the same way that most of the people who do not have money spend their lives focused on getting it, so do most, who perceive that they don't have physical beauty, focus on it (in most cases).  If you remove the perception of the obstacle then a human being is free to focus on what is important.  I'm starting to go a little deeper down the "rabbit hole" then I had intended in this blog so I will save the rest for another time.

Just remember, you are more beautiful then you think.  

Please share this post with people.

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Remember Your Dream

Watch this video. All you dreamers out there; All you who have grown tired and weary of your nine-to-five; Even if there is only an echo of complacency in your life. Don't ever settle, and remember your dreams daily. Don't trade in the possibility of a great life for a good one. Remember, sometimes the security of a paycheck can also be the shackle that holds you back from your own greatness and the greatness that God has designed you to be. You DO have gifts, so explore them. Step out and share them with the world. Step out daily with boldness and grab your destiny my friends. It starts with the first step so take it. Today. Move. Forward. Now.

Video titled: "The American'T Dream (The Purse Suit Of Happyness)||Spoken Word"

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Happy Oscar Sunday everyone!

Happy Oscar Sunday everyone! When going to your parties or events today, remember:
"A healthy attitude is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier. " - Tom Stoppard
Also, "Be kind whenever possible. It's always possible." - Dalai Lama

Always take every opportunity to spread love and show kindness, which are both a part of a healthy attitude in my opinion.  :-)  Don't just reserve it for a "special occasion" though.  Make every moment a special occasion.  Every moment we are given is an opportunity to choose how we will react, what action we will take, and how we influence others.

Unfortunately, I have not always been a shining example of my suggestions above.  If anything, I have been the complete antithesis of them more times than I could count or would care to reflect upon.  I have been mean and belittling to others.  I have felt hurt by people and held contempt in my heart toward them. I have been angry with people and chose to strike out at them verbally. At times - though I have not acted on it - I have even had thoughts of violence towards another human being.  I am not proud of any of those choices but share them only to illustrate that I have been a fallible human being.

The beautiful thing about the amazing gift of this day is that no matter who we have been in the past, today is our opportunity to be whomever we decide to be.  Each moment carries with it the opportunity to be kind and loving to others, and to ourselves.  I am so very thankful that I have been given the opportunity to be someone new at least a thousand times.  I am also thankful that the person I choose to be today is not who I chose to be in the yesteryears.

Sometimes I look at the person I was as if to be an echo of a distant memory of someone I knew once. While drawing from the lessons learned and the experience gained during each of those moments, I know that who I am now is not who I was then.  Those moments neither determine nor decide who I am now.  The wisdom drawn from experiencing them does help to guide my steps, but only my actions in this moment decide who I am in the next. 

Remember that you are a human being and will make mistakes. That’s okay. You have the opportunity now to choose to be forgiving of yourself and to be kind and loving to everyone you encounter.  Even when people mistreat you, CHOOSE TO BE _____. I’ll let you fill in the blank.  After all, it is your life, and you choose what steps you take in each moment.  Hopefully this can be a voice of guidance in how you might take those steps.

In whatever your choices remember that you are an amazing human being with unlimited potential, and I believe in you. :-)  I’ll close with the suggestion I opened with: Always take every opportunity to spread love and show kindness. 

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Even Small Steps Are Still Steps

WELCOME TUESDAY!!!  (and every day) 
Welcome Tuesday with a ROAR, not a whimper. Move forward with your life. Even in the slightest step, you are still making progress, as long as it is in the direction of what you desire. Don't wait!  No one is going to show up on your doorstep with a suitcase full of opportunity to acknowledge how talented you are. I've been guilty of that for years. "I'm talented so people are going to notice and give me the opportunities that I desire… Right?" They DO notice and then say something to the effect of, "Wow! You are so amazingly talented. I had no idea. Good for you."  It IS appreciated but... Now what?  In this life, yes, you will get the occasional opportunity handed to you, but for the most part, YOU have to make your own opportunities.

Make EVERY DAY your today of action.  Don’t squander this gift of time that you’ve been given.  Each day YOU decide who you are by your thoughts and your execution of those thoughts, in the form of actions, will determine who you become.  In the meantime, treat your life like there is no such thing as tomorrow because, in fact, there isn’t.  Don’t wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow never gets here.  It becomes today upon our arrival to it. All you ever have is THIS moment, NOW, TODAY.  Today IS yesterday’s tomorrow, so make TODAY your TODAY OF ACTION. 

Again, EVEN SMALL STEPS ARE STILL STEPS toward your goal.  Just do something. . . TODAY.

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Los Angeles "ORPHAN'S" POTLUCK

2012 “Orphan’s who are stuck in LA Christmas Potluck”

Pics from the event: http://bit.ly/COPl2012

No One Should Be alone for Christmas 

My first few Christmases in Los Angeles I was alone, unable to fly home to join my family and it sucked. A couple of years ago I found out the week after Christmas that a few of my friends were also stuck in LA alone and I thought there was no point to that since we were all in town... all feeling lonely on Christmas day. If only we all had known, we could have been each other's company. I've done a couple of these “Orphan’s of LA potluck” parties thus far and they have been wonderful experiences with amazing people.

WHAT IS IT?

Essentially, it is a place to go on Christmas day so people don’t have to be alone.  I send out a lot of invites (about 3,000) to spread the word to my community in Los Angeles and instruct them to spread the word to their communities, that if they are alone on Christmas day, or know someone who will be, they now have a place to come and spend the day. I open up my home to old friends, new acquaintances and a lot of strangers, which are friends that I haven’t met yet.  All are people who would otherwise be alone on Christmas day.

THE RESULT?

A little over 40 people showed up on Christmas day with various assortments of treats, wines and dishes from the parts of the world that they originally traveled to Los Angeles from. About 85% of them were people I was meeting in person for the first time. There was a sense of hope and thankfulness in the air as each person arrived, not quite knowing what they should expect.  I was greeted with lots of “Thank you so much for opening your home to us.” And “I am so thankful to have a place to spend Christmas day.”  Throughout the day everyone relaxed into this new environment that was filled with people they didn’t know when they first arrived.  I could see friendships forming and kindred spirits finding each other. I felt a little like an observer, watching from a distance as I floated around fulfilling my role as host.  I was fully engaged with each person I spoke with, yet mindful of the person who may have felt like they were the “new person” and needed a few introductions to help them get started on their journey to making new friends. 

It was a wonderfully fulfilling day and I would recommend hosting this type of event to anyone who has the means to do so. It doesn’t have to be on Christmas day, any day will do.  The goal should be to bring your current community together and build it with people you don’t currently know.  Helping to connect people will ultimately help all of us to break down walls and to build a stronger community overall.

It is my hope that, by raising awareness of the Christmas Orphan's Potluck, other's will be inspired to do the same thing in their own communities throughout the year.  By opening their homes to people they may not know, in an effort to show love to their community, it will ultimately lead to more connectedness and other acts of kindness.  It is like a large pebble being thrown into a pond of separateness.  The ripples of that one kind act affect the lives of everyone who attended the potluck or heard about the potluck.  Each of those people then becomes a potential new pebble to be thrown into that same pond.  It will directly and indirectly influence many lives and lead to more acts of kindness, and ultimately connectedness within more communities.

You may not see the potential power of this sort of thing but trust me, as I have experienced it, you will absolutely touch people’s lives in a positive way when you open yourself up to them in this way. You will be an example for others to follow.  What if the Gandhi of tomorrow is completely unaware of his or her own potential until your act of kindness ignites a spark in that person’s heart, which is then fanned into a flame of compassion for the world that burns so bright, the world itself is changed.

You can start the dominos falling in the direction of kindness throughout this world. It starts with YOU, not your neighbor, your sibling, your partner, your parents, someone you feel is more qualified, etc. You already have everything you need to start today.  Start with one small act of kindness and let it grow from there.  YOU ARE AMAZING my friend.  Continue to let your light shine and decide to bring your awesome self to the world every day.  Let that be one of your gifts to the world. 

2009 “Orphan’s who are stuck in LA Christmas Potluck”

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I'm the guy just left of the middle, in the green sweater, santa hat, a big cheesy smile and two thumbs up. :-) 

The next two pictures are from the people who showed up in the evening. 

Clarity within a tragedy

With a huge national spotlight shining on Sandy Hook Elementary School, causing such a focus on the idea of gun control, I felt I should address the issue.

Before I go any further, I want to express my deepest condolences to the parents, family members, loved ones and friends of all of the victims of the shooting that day.  I don’t have any children of my own so I can’t even to begin to understand the deep sorrow felt by the loss of a child.  I very much love and cherish children, and have a passion to protect, nurture and encourage them.

The reason I started this blog, although it has evolved, was to speak to young people with a message of hope, inspiration and encouragement.

Since I first heard of the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School a few days ago, the coverage has brought the preceding subject to the forefront of my conscious mind.  I knew I wanted to address it, but one of my policies has always been that I do not engage in politically charged issues. The purpose of this blog is not to sway anyone’s political beliefs, but rather offer insight, encouragement and hopefully help people to see their own limitless potential that lays dormant inside of them. 

I will not offer any “answers”, only my observations and opinions. 

A quick aside:

I am very proud to have served as a member of the US Armed Services.  One of the reasons I did so is my deep-rooted belief that every human being is entitled to his or her own opinion and the right to believe the way they decide to, WITHOUT ridicule or oppression from others.  I volunteered to enlist and was willing to risk my life (if it should come to that) in service of this country, to hopefully preserve this freedom, among many others.  I will again offer that the following is my opinion based on my observations.

Despite the heightened state of emotional turmoil that this event seems to have brought about, one thing still seems very clear to me: this event has caused a shift in focus from the real issue at hand.

So much focus has been placed on the idea of gun control. I’ve heard some say, “If only he was not able to have those weapons then he never would have been able to commit such a heinous crime.” To this statement, I would offer that the man who committed this crime was mentally ill and would have found another means to express such violent acts, if he didn’t have firearms to do so.  The real issue is the man’s state of mental health and perhaps why it wasn’t addressed before it elevated to the horrific manifestation at the school.   Please don't misunderstand, I am NOT condoning his act, only pointing out another perspective.  

Before guns were available, people used blunt objects, knives, swords, bows & arrows, etc. to express violence.  Those same items were also used in hunting to provide for individuals and families, and for protection.  They are all simply tools to be used for good or for bad.  Much in the same way that money acts as an amplifier of what is in a human beings soul, so does the use of weapons, for either good or bad, reflect what is within a person’s heart. 

There have always been extreme expressions of hate, and equally there have always been extreme expressions of love and kindness.  It is not ours to call into question the objects used to manifest those expressions but rather the person who uses them. 

It’s almost a cliché at this point but it’s not the guns that kill people, it’s the people wielding the guns that make the decision to aim and pull the trigger. 

Before, during and after my service in the military, I received lots of training on how to properly use firearms and posses a level of respect for what they are capable of.  I am also a strong proponent of training and certification on the proper use and safety of firearms being required before someone is permitted to purchase or own one.

If you take guns away from law abiding citizens, who will go about acquiring them legally, the only people who will be left with weapons are criminals who are already breaking the law to posses them. 

An oppressive government very easily controls a people left unable to protect itself. “To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them." George Mason, Co-author of the Second Amendment

By giving the government the power to limit ANY of our freedoms, you are saying they have the right to limit ALL of our freedoms. 

Taking away a foundational, Constitutional right, such as owning and possessing firearms, is opening a gateway to other freedoms being taken away.  Where would it stop?

Even if you believe in peace AS I DO, by forcing a choice onto anyone by limiting his or her rights, you have now mistaken oppression for peace.  YES, I want peace in this world but you will not change the human condition or even human nature by taking away a simple tool.  The tool is used as the human being decides to use it.

Peace will come through education and the spreading of LOVE.  As long as there is greed in the hearts of men, there also will lurk the seeds of evil deeds, which take root in the soul and blossom when in the search of quenching the thirst that greed creates.  There are so many more issues which could be addressed that I believe can contribute to peace, and most of them have to do with the foundation of who we are as human beings, not simply a symptom of the human condition. 

I will close with this; you may not agree with my opinions and that’s OK.  I completely respect yours.  All I ask is that you please be respectful of the fact that they are my opinions and we all have the right to believe as we decide to, WITHOUT oppression or ridicule from others.  Again, this is not an attempt to sway your political views, but rather to help offer clarity on the particular subject that has recently received a lot of attention.

As always, everything I write and post is intended with love and only to encourage you.  I believe in you my friend.  Have an amazing day.    

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Thanksgiving

We live in such an amazing country at an amazing time in history.  I know it's a simple pleasure, but we have the ability to go to the store and buy food that we didn't have to grow, make, or do much work to acquire.  Again, I know it is something that most of us take for granted on a daily basis (multiple times throughout the day actually) but maybe we should spend a lot more time reflecting on the simple things that we are blessed with, and have been for so long that we have taken them for granted our entire lives.  So, before you thoughtlessly inhale your next meal, take a pause, study the food you are about to eat and think of everything it took for it to reach your plate.  Think of everything that you did not have to do for it to be there.  Think of all of the men, women and business involved in the process and be thankful for all of it.  Let that be a seed of thankfulness that bleeds over into the rest of your life.  Take a pause each moment to count another blessing that you have, perhaps, taken for granted in the past.  Awareness of the abundance that you already have in your life will put you in a state that will ultimately draw more of that abundance to you. Have a great night my friends. I am grateful for you (AND the Trader Joe’s pizza I just ate!)

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